Usually, though, people like me who have a psychotic illness are already receiving professional healthcare, or are at least known to mental health services. Running away is not an option.Ĭhristians with severe mental illness seek the same things as other Christians.Ĭhurches may assume that people with severe mental illness need special prayer and counseling. Thankfully, some individual Christians stuck with me, and I am now determined to help those within church to understand people like me. In another, I emailed the entire church membership list to complain about how they had treated me. In one manic episode, I gave my last £1000 to a church and had to ask for it back. I went to a conservative church and was told that my problems were “for the professionals.” I visited a charismatic church and was told that my illness reflected a demonic stronghold and that I simply needed to pray more. Not quite fitting in, I felt shame, and was often misunderstood by the churches I attended. I needed Christians to reach out to me, as I believe Jesus, who walked with the marginalized, would have done. And at other times, I was too paranoid to risk joining a group. For example, I had long spells in the hospital. You might be thinking, “This isn’t really relevant to me: there’s no one in my church with psychotic illness…” But mental illness may be making it difficult for the affected to attend church. Mental illness need not pose a barrier to church engagement. A little understanding can do a lot to diminish fear. And with the right treatment, they can function at a high level. Severe mental illness sometimes scares people, but those who suffer are much more likely to be vulnerable than dangerous. Now, antipsychotic medication helps me manage psychosis, which is associated with a dopamine imbalance in the brain. I got messages from “a network in the fourth dimension,” and paranoia convinced me that people were conspiring against me. I perceived an “evil presence” behind my left shoulder and pterodactyl-like “tormentors” flapping around my head. However, illnesses involving psychosis-schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, and schizoaffective disorder-are much less understood. The church is improving in its handling of common mental illnesses such as depression and anxiety.
Here’s why…Ī better understanding of “severe and enduring” mental illness helps to eliminate fear. I am also a Christian, and I feel passionate about helping the church to better understand severe mental illness.
Today, I have a meaningful occupation, I am a wife and mom, and I am part of a community. Four years later, I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder, a “severe and enduring” mental illness that caused episodes of psychosis when I lost touch with reality.ĭenied a license to practice medicine, I went through psychiatric treatment and eventually became a writer instead. I graduated from medical school in 2007 with the goal of becoming a family practitioner. Senior medical students don’t get admitted to psychiatric wards-do they? Hastily, I push my white coat back into my suitcase. The nurse finishes her search of my belongings and pulls back the curtain around my bed, exposing me for the first time to the other women. My chair wobbles and I look down at the frayed carpet. “You’ll have to speak to the doctor about that.” I bite my lip, hard, as a hot tear slides down my left cheek. The nurse removes a glass nail-polish bottle and the flashlight I use to check patients’ pupils, then passes my handbag back to me. Writer Sharon Hastings further details her struggles in Wrestling With My Thoughts: A Doctor With Severe Mental Illness Discovers Strength.)
(This month’s guest blog offers a unique perspective on mental illness, from a doctor from Northern Ireland who found herself institutionalized as a patient.
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